How to Pray Effective Prayers
When you think of prayer, who comes to mind?
I come from a legacy of prayer warriors. My grandmother, born and raised in Jamaica, was fortunate enough to come to the United States to build a life in a beautiful home in Connecticut. In this house was a living room that no one was allowed to live in. Comprised of pure white furniture and carpet, this room was inaccessible. In fact, the only time I actually saw anyone in this particular room was when my grandmother went to pray. She would sit in one of her pristine chairs for hours, holding her tattered prayer notebook while calling on God in tongues. This living room wasn’t just off-limits; it was holy ground.
My dad was an avid prayer walker. He would regularly walk around our neighborhood holding a massive prayer stick (similar to the staff that Gandolf had in The Lord of the Rings), praying over the houses of those we called neighbors and friends. I remember being outside with friends, playing basketball, or riding bikes when he passed by and wanting to run the other way because, in embarrassment, I simply didn’t understand the power of what was being passed down to even the generations after me.
I am blessed to have had not only one praying parent but two. My mom has a beautiful relationship with God. She regularly shares the holy things God has and is speaking to her in the secret place and testifies of just how kind, loving, and generous He continues to be. Her relationship with God is gentle and consistent as she meets Him in prayer each morning on her couch, chatting over hot tea before the day starts.
Then there is me, the product of these prayer powerhouses. And when I pray, it often feels like nothing is happening. Quite honestly, it seems as if I am knocking on a door; not sure if anyone is on the other side. I wonder if you, too, feel that prayer is essential, yet when you pray, you feel nothing happening.
A recent study shows that more Americans will pray this week than exercise, drive a car, have sex, or go to work. Prayer is more popular than going to church. As a culture, it is acceptable to use prayer as a form of meditation or finding centeredness; however, prayer that changes our lives is what most of us are looking for, and Jesus shows us the way to effective prayer.
Jesus: A Living Example of How to Pray
Of all the miraculous things Jesus did and taught, He was most radical when He talked about prayer.
In the Gospels, Jesus said:
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7-8, NIV
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
Mark 11:24, NIV
“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”
John 15:7, NIV
These statements are radical; they are big claims. But He didn’t just speak these things; He exemplified them.
Looking to feed thousands of people, Jesus took five loaves and two fish and, praying a blessing of abundance, was able to provide for a multitude. (Matthew 14)
Jesus, standing at the entrance to his friend Lazarus’ grave, prayed one prayer and called him forth, and in a moment, he was alive. (John 11)
While experiencing the brutality of the cross, Jesus prayed that humanity be forgiven, and now, we can live in freedom from sin. (Luke 23)
Jesus didn’t just teach us how to pray; He showed us how prayer is proven to be powerful in His life and ours.
How to Pray Effectively
I often wonder if the disciples had a similar human experience when witnessing the miraculous results of Jesus’ prayers.
Did they believe instantly, or, like most of us, did they struggle with the reality of doubt in the possibility of an answer?
Luke 11:1, in the NIV, says, “One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.’”
And in His response, Jesus reminds us that it is not about a magic blueprint to get what you want from God, but rather perspective and mindsets of when and how you pray that usher in encounters with God.
Prayer Is Not a Formula; It Is a Relationship
Prayer is not just a way to meet your needs; it is an opportunity to connect with God. Effective prayer is where we discover God is profoundly personal and boundlessly powerful.
And as we reflect on the goodness and faithfulness of His character, He also provides us with an effective method of prayer.
Pray to Know Who We Are Talking To
“This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,”
Matthew 6:9, NIV
Who is God to you?
A.W. Tozer said this:
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
The way we see God will impact the way we live our lives. If we imagine God as a distant being that cannot be known, that is how we will pray. If we see Him as an overlord who requires us to be perfect, that is how we will live. If we expect God to be a genie in the sky, only needed for answers, our prayers will reflect that.
When Jesus originally said, “Our Father in heaven,” what He was actually saying was, “Abba, Father.”
Abba. A word of endearment that declares that we can intimately know and be fully known by our Heavenly Father.
God is not absent from you; He is not disinterested in you. He is for you and with you in the midst of everything you are dealing with; all you have to do is call Abba.
Not only does Jesus call out to the Father, but he also declares, “Hallowed be your name.”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines hallowed as being holy or consecrated. It encompasses purity and being set apart for something special, much like my grandmother’s living room.
Often, we view God as being holy but also untouched. Maybe you look to God in awe but feel unworthy to engage with Him or even be in His presence. Can I encourage you?
If God is holy, He cannot sin. If He cannot sin, He cannot sin against you. If He cannot sin against you, He is the most trustworthy person you will ever know.
This is what abiding prayer is all about. It is our foundation as we learn and engage with God, not only as someone we can intimately know but as someone we can unconditionally trust.
Pray to Play Your Role
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10, NIV
Many people believe this line of the Lord’s Prayer is about resignation; however, it actually invites us into participation. These words acknowledge that while things may be challenging on Earth, our partnership with God allows us to bring heaven to the people around us.
John 15:4-5 in the ESV says, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
As you begin to cultivate your prayer life, having daily time with God will eventually reorient how you live your life. It will give you eyes to see the people around you and hear the increasing need within the world. And the more you spend time in abiding prayer, the more you will be enabled to declare His goodness and kindness over your circumstances and those in your sphere of influence.
Wherever you are, how can you impact those in your life? It begins with seeking God’s will through prayer.
Pray to Make Daring Requests
“Give us today our daily bread.”
Matthew 6:11, NIV
My sister Adrienne, a successful single woman, visited my family last year for my son’s third birthday. During her time with us, she took my son to Target, where they have a decent toy section. (It’s not Toys R Us, but what really is?) She looked at my son and said, “Whatever you want, you can have.” (Which, by the way, is something only someone who doesn’t have kids is willing to offer.)
She walked him down every aisle as they perused giant plush dinosaurs so lifelike he could ride on them, trucks so massive he would probably need a license to play with them, and intricate Lego sets that would take months to assemble. And if I am honest, I was hoping he would go for the PlayStation 5.
With so many options before him, do you know what he picked? A Paw Patrol Matchbox car. It doesn’t light up, make noise, or do the trick where you pull it back and it launches forward.
But there is a lesson here. We can focus on being content, and that bigger isn’t always better, but what about all the miraculous we may miss out on because we don’t think to pray bold prayers? Maybe it is not an issue with asking God for things, but rather asking Him for too little.
When we know who He is and what He is willing to do, we can ask audacious prayers.
Pray to Know Freedom From Forgiveness
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew 6:12, NIV
So often, we judge other people by their actions while judging ourselves by our intentions. We view ourselves in one of two ways: the version we would like to be, hope to be, and aspire to be, or the version we are right now, leading to shameful hiding where we conceal what we are struggling with.
Jesus knows who you are and invites you to be fully known, but God cannot heal what you don’t reveal.
He invites us to extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us and offer the same grace God lavished upon us because the one thing that can rob us most in this life on earth is harboring unforgiveness towards others and ourselves.
Pray to Win Your War
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Matthew 6:13, NIV
We live in a society where materialistic things and attributes are valuable. We are scientific, intellectual, and nuanced, but if we trust the words of Jesus completely, we know and understand that regardless of how established we are, some things interact with us in the spiritual realm.
Ephesians 6:12 in the NET says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
There should be times in prayer when we can say, “God, I know there are things you are trying to accomplish in my life, but I feel some resistance that makes me feel trapped. Help me.”
The “Our Father” prayer that Jesus shared with us may seem like a few sentences, but in actuality, it has the power to strengthen, empower, and change your life.
How to Implement Prayer in Your Life
Start With Whatever is Most Honest
Where are you right now with God?
Maybe you know you’re supposed to pray but feel disinterested.
Perhaps you want to foster a prayer life but need help trusting Him in the area where you need Him most.
God longs for your heart and invites you to abide in Him, no matter how experienced or inexperienced you feel. All it takes is one tiny step, one small change, one whispered, “Yes.”
Be honest and leave whatever it is at His feet.
Pray As You Can
Your time of prayer doesn’t have to be long and extravagant. It can simply begin with two or three sentences.
And if that feels too much, Jesus provided us with a blueprint for prayer: The Lord’s Prayer.
But always remember this; whatever the praise of your heart or concerns of your life, God is near to those who draw close to Him. He knows you inside and out and is faithful to hear your every word.
All it takes is one breath and one word to abide in Him, who is faithful.
For more on how to pray, check out Pastor Stephen’s sermon, Teach Us to Pray.
