Community Group Edition
Forming
Men
A 6 week journey through prayer, fasting, scripture, and the shadows every man has to fight through.
How it works
Before you begin — Self Assessment
Take time to write honest answers to these questions before your first group meeting. You will revisit these at the end of Week 6 to measure your growth. Be real, not aspirational.
PRAYER AS COMMUNION
1. SPIRITUAL LIFE
This Week
Prayer is the heartbeat of a relationship with God. It is the ongoing conversation where we open our hearts to Him and align our lives with His will. Yet for many of us, prayer feels more like a ritual to check off than a life giving connection with the Creator of the universe.
The disciples of Jesus saw something in His prayer life that they wanted. In Luke 11, after watching Jesus pray, they came to Him and said 'Lord, teach us to pray.' They had seen a rhythm, a power, an intimacy that they longed to experience. That is where our journey begins.
Prayer is also a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Over time the discipline of prayer turns into a delight and what once felt like a chore becomes the highlight of your day. This week write your prayer for your spiritual life and recite it morning and evening all week long.
Prayer of the Week 1. SPIRITUAL LIFE
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Heavenly Father, I thank You for the gift of faith and the spiritual growth I have experienced. You have brought me this far by grace. I ask You to take me to deeper levels of intimacy this week. Help me stay committed to my spiritual practices and to my brothers. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW IS MY PRAYER LIFE?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
How often do I actually pray? Is there a regular pattern or is my prayer life mostly reactive?
When I pray, do I genuinely connect with God or do my prayers feel shallow and rushed?
Am I withholding anything from God in prayer because of shame or fear? Doubts? Sins? Desires?
When was the last time I clearly sensed God's presence or guidance in prayer?
Have I seen God answer prayer in my life? Do I still trust He is working even when I cannot see it?
If Jesus were evaluating my prayer life, what would He commend? What would He call me to grow in?
THE SHADOW OF LONELINESS
Watch the session video before completing this section.
You were created to belong. Created for community. Created for friendships. But as the busyness of life and its responsibilities continue to creep in, men everywhere find themselves experiencing unwanted solitude and disconnection. Research shows that strong relationships affect the outcome of a man's life more than anything else, more than IQ, social class, health, and money. The best investment of your time is deepening your relationships. Regularly make room for proximity, unplanned interactions, and vulnerability with a community of brothers so you can cast off the shadow of loneliness.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
How often are you just in environments with other men? In what ways can you increase your chances for proximity?
What part of your life feels rigid and overscheduled? How can you create more margin for unplanned connection?
How would you describe your history with vulnerability? Do your current rhythms actually support a lifestyle of it?
How much time after work hours are you giving to a screen? What do your findings suggest about where your loneliness is coming from?
Are you someone who brings out the best in others or someone whose presence makes others feel small? Who is an illuminator in your life?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- What does your current prayer life reveal about your relationship with God?
- How have you seen God answer prayer in your life?
- How can we as a group encourage each other to pray consistently and with real depth?
Fighting Shadows
- Where has the shadow of loneliness shown up most in your life? Be honest with each other.
- What is one practical thing you can do this week to increase proximity and real connection with other men?
- Are you more of an illuminator or a diminisher right now? What would it take to shift that?
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?
Scripture readings
Weekly reflection
FASTING AS DESIRE
2. WORK AND VOCATION
This Week
In our culture, fasting feels antiquated and even extreme. The idea of intentionally going without food seems unnecessary in a world that prizes convenience and comfort. Yet Jesus said 'when you fast' not 'if you fast.' Fasting is not an optional add on for the super spiritual. It is a core practice for those who want to love God with everything they have.
Fasting is fundamentally about hunger. Not just physical hunger but spiritual hunger. When we fast we come face to face with the things we depend on for comfort and satisfaction. We see how often our desires are out of alignment with God's will. Fasting redirects our restlessness toward God.
Fasting also reveals the idols of our hearts. When we abstain from food or entertainment, the things we normally turn to for escape come to the surface. This is uncomfortable but it is also liberating. Fast one full day this week. Use that time to pray, read, and seek God.
Prayer of the Week 2. WORK AND VOCATION
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Lord, I thank You for the work and career You have provided. I know work is holy and a way to honor You. I am grateful for the skills You have given me. I ask for Your wisdom as I navigate my responsibilities. Help me to find balance and to honor You in everything I do at work. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW IS MY APPETITE?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
What physical, emotional, or material desires consume most of my focus? How often do I turn to these things instead of God?
Are there habits or appetites that control me? Overworking, scrolling, overeating? What would it look like to bring these under God's authority?
Have I ever fasted before? What did I learn? If not, what has kept me from it?
What fears or excuses come up when I think about fasting? What does that tell me about where I need to trust God more?
When I fast or abstain from something, what emotions surface? Anxiety? Frustration? Peace? What do those emotions reveal?
Where is God inviting me to use fasting as an act of worship and deeper dependence?
THE SHADOW OF SHAME
Watch the session video before completing this section.
Shame is the internalized sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Shame attacks our identity and whispers lies like 'You are not good enough' or 'You are unworthy.' It causes chaos and separates us from our hearts, from other people, and worst of all, from God. What keeps most men stuck in shame is the belief that they can get out of it themselves. But you cannot think your way out of shame. You cannot fix it with religion or good works. There is only one real solution: respond to God's invitation to heal your shame. Drag it into His presence and let Him speak not just about you but to you. There He will tell you the truth about who you are and how He sees you.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
Are there areas in your life where you are scared to be bold or creative? Where is shame keeping you small?
Are there areas in your life where you spend a lot of time and energy hiding the real you?
Shame can almost always be traced back to believing a lie about yourself. What lies have you been believing? Have you made agreements with those lies?
Can you trace the origin of those lies back to a particular event or moment in your life?
What does God have to say about who you are? What would it look like to renounce the lie and receive His truth instead?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- What misconceptions have you had about fasting and how has your thinking shifted?
- How does fasting help align our hearts with God's?
- What would it look like to fast together as a group for a specific purpose?
Fighting Shadows
- Where has shame shown up most powerfully in your story? You do not have to go deep this week, but name it.
- What is a lie about yourself that you have been believing for a long time? What does God actually say about that?
- Who in this group can you open up to this week about something you have been hiding?
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?
Scripture readings
Weekly reflection
SCRIPTURE AS NOURISHMENT
3. PERSONAL HOBBIES
This Week
The Bible is often called the bread of life. A source of sustenance for the soul. Yet many men treat Scripture like a side dish rather than the main course of their spiritual lives. Without consistent engagement with God's Word we are like soldiers entering battle without weapons. Jesus declared 'Man shall not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'
Paul writes in 2 Timothy that all Scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. The Bible is not just a collection of ancient writings. It is God's personal instruction manual for living a life that glorifies Him.
This week continue your reading through the New Testament. Breaking it into manageable daily readings makes it more doable than you think. Each time you sit with the Word, ask God to speak to you through it. Come to group ready to share what you are learning.
Prayer of the Week 3. PERSONAL HOBBIES
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Father, thank You for the hobbies and passions that bring joy to my life. When I experience joy in Your creation I know I am experiencing Your glory. I ask for Your guidance in balancing my time so I can enjoy these pursuits while honoring You. Help me use my hobbies to rejuvenate my spirit and bring joy to others. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW IS MY TIME IN THE WORD?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
How often do I actually open my Bible? Daily? Weekly? Only when things go wrong?
Do I approach Scripture as a source of life and joy or as a box to check off? How can I cultivate a real hunger for it?
When was the last time a specific verse or passage convicted me or changed how I was living?
Do I read Scripture with an awareness of the big picture of what God is doing or do I just pick passages that feel relevant to me?
Are there areas of my life where I have ignored or resisted what Scripture teaches? What would obedience look like there?
If I were to memorize one verse this week that speaks to where I am right now, what would it be and why?
THE SHADOW OF LUST
Watch the session video before completing this section.
Lust deforms us as men. It distorts our vision of sex, our view of women, and our imaginations and appetites. And it robs us of our confidence. The world says release your desires whenever you want. The church often says repress them and view them as bad. But the call is neither. We are called to redirect our desires as a tool of spiritual formation, to become men of love. Lust severs the humanity of a person for pleasure. Love cares about the person and is willing to deny itself for their wellbeing. We need not just a change of behavior but a change of heart. Only God can reorder our disordered desires and transform us into people of love.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
Where were you when the shadow of lust first fell over your life? How have you addressed it across different seasons, released, repressed, or redirected?
Can you pinpoint patterns around when you give in to lust? What underlying needs are you trying to meet in those moments?
Based on what you identified above, how can you meet those needs in a healthy and God honoring way?
What does it look like practically for you to redirect lustful desire rather than release or repress it? How can you make that a habit?
What are 2 to 3 practical things you can do to treat the women in your life the way Jesus did, with respect, dignity, and honor?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- How has Scripture impacted your relationship with God?
- What practical steps can we take to actually prioritize the Word in our daily lives?
- How can this group help each other stay consistent in reading the New Testament?
Fighting Shadows
- Without going into unnecessary detail, how has the shadow of lust shown up in your story?
- What does redirecting rather than releasing or repressing actually look like in daily life for you?
- How can this group hold each other accountable in this area without shame but with real honesty?
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?
Scripture readings
Weekly reflection
LOVING GOD IN EVERY AREA
4. PHYSICAL HEALTH
This Week
Loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength means surrendering every aspect of your life to Him. It is not just about spiritual practices like prayer, fasting, and scripture. It is about letting those habits shape how you approach your work, your relationships, your ambitions, and your daily decisions. As Paul writes, 'Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.'
Too often we compartmentalize our faith. We reserve Sunday mornings for God and live the rest of the week as if He is not central. But the call to love God with everything you are is not a part time commitment. It is an all encompassing devotion.
This week reflect on the areas of your life where you have kept God at arm's length. Surrendering those areas does not mean abandoning them. It means inviting Him into them. When every part of your life is submitted to God, you will experience a deeper sense of purpose, peace, and fulfillment.
Prayer of the Week 4. PHYSICAL HEALTH
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Lord, I thank You for the gift of life and the health I enjoy. I thank You for this body. I am grateful for the strength and energy You provide. I ask for Your guidance in maintaining my physical health, giving me the discipline to exercise, eat well, and rest. Help me to honor You by caring for my body as a temple of Your Spirit. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW IS MY ALIGNMENT?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
Are there areas of my life I have held back from God? Work, relationships, finances, habits? Why?
Do my spiritual practices actually shape how I show up in everyday life or do they stay siloed to mornings and Sundays?
If someone observed my schedule, spending, and energy this past week, what would they say I value most? Does that match what I claim?
What people, habits, or cultural pressures are pulling me away from a God centered life? How am I resisting them?
Is there something specific God has been calling me to do that I have been avoiding? Serving, reconciling, letting go?
If God gave me an honest evaluation right now, what would He celebrate? Where would He call me to deeper surrender?
THE SHADOW OF AMBITION
Watch the session video before completing this section.
Ambition stirs the heart of every man. It gives us vision, drive, and direction. But worldly ambition is dangerous. It is marked by a desire for domination and recognition, saying it is not enough to do your best, you have to be better than someone else and have an audience for it. Ambition redeemed by God is different. Holy ambition has three keys: a kingdom vision that looks beyond yourself to what God is doing in the world, a crystallization of discontent where you refuse to let things stay the way they are, and radical sacrificial action. When God finds a man with holy ambition, He anoints him, empowers him, and uses him in the world.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
What kind of ambition did you see modeled growing up? How has that shaped your relationship with ambition as a man?
Think about what you have given your time, energy, and resources to in the past year. Was it fueled by worldly ambition or Godly ambition? What did it cost you?
What would it look like if your ambition was fully shaped by a kingdom vision? Are there radical sacrificial actions God is calling you toward?
Is there anyone you have been in competition with rather than brotherhood? What would it look like to honor and celebrate them this week?
Ask God for the gift of holy ambition. What does a version of your life look like where every ounce of your drive is pointed at His kingdom?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- How does your spiritual life actually influence your work, your relationships, and your daily decisions?
- What is one area where you know you need to surrender more fully to God?
- How can this group encourage each other to live integrated, God centered lives?
Fighting Shadows
- Where has worldly ambition shown up most in your story? What has it cost you or the people around you?
- What does holy ambition look like for you specifically, in your season, in your work, in your family?
- Is there someone in this group or in your life you have been competing with rather than celebrating? What would it look like to flip that?
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?
Scripture readings
Weekly reflection
BROTHERHOOD AND ACCOUNTABILITY
5. RELATIONSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS
This Week
Proverbs 27 says iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. This is not just a nice metaphor. It is a description of how spiritual formation actually works. We grow in community. We grow through friction, honesty, and consistent presence with other men who are running the same race.
Most men are profoundly isolated. We have acquaintances and coworkers and people we wave to on Sunday but very few of us have men in our lives who actually know us. Men who we can call at midnight. Men who will tell us the truth even when it is hard to hear.
This week think about what it would look like to actually be that for someone and to let someone be that for you. Accountability without relationship is just pressure. But accountability inside of genuine brotherhood is one of the most powerful forces for change in a man's life.
Prayer of the Week 5. RELATIONSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Father, thank You for the brothers You have placed in my life. I know that iron sharpens iron and that I was not made to do this alone. I ask You to deepen these relationships and help me to be the kind of friend who shows up, who is honest, and who stays. Give me courage to be vulnerable and to hold others accountable in love. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW ARE MY RELATIONSHIPS?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
Am I genuinely known by anyone in my life right now or am I performing a version of myself that keeps people at a distance?
Do I have anyone who actually asks me the hard questions? Who knows my real struggles? If not, why not?
Am I the kind of friend who shows up consistently or do I only engage when it is convenient for me?
Are there broken or strained relationships in my life that I have been avoiding? What is my responsibility there?
Am I investing in anyone younger or less mature in their faith? Who could I be intentionally pouring into?
What would my closest brothers say is my biggest relational blind spot? Am I willing to ask them?
THE SHADOW OF FUTILITY
Watch the session video before completing this section.
Futility is the struggle for purpose and meaning. It is the lie that says 'I do not have a purpose.' But you are uniquely wired to bring your abilities and strengths to the world. Meaninglessness is found in how you do something, not in what you do. So we must recover the sacredness of daily work in every domain. Learn to rule your passions, find your calling and your assignment, live by a code, and make time to play. As you hold all of these things in balance, the light of purpose, meaning, and joy will send the shadow of futility far from your heart.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
Describe your relationship with the shadow of futility. Do you find yourself struggling for meaning and purpose? Where does it show up most?
The four levels of ruling are: yourself, a small team, a tribe, and a city. What season are you in? Have you skipped mastery at a previous level?
Your calling is your unique wiring. Your assignment is what God has put in front of you right now. What are you curious about? What makes you come alive?
Too many men underestimate the importance of the code they live by. What is your code? Draft it, even in rough form, and share it with the group.
How often do you engage in genuine play? Who can you invite into moments of play and rest? What does that look like in your current season?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- What does real brotherhood look like for you right now versus what it has looked like in the past?
- What makes it hard for men to be genuinely vulnerable with each other?
- How can this group go deeper together in the final stretch of this journey?
Fighting Shadows
- Where has the shadow of futility been most active in your life? When does the 'what is the point' feeling hit hardest?
- What are you curious about right now? What makes your heart come alive? Are you pursuing any of that?
- Share a rough draft of your personal code with the group. What kind of man do you want to be known as?
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?
Scripture readings
Weekly reflection
FINISHING STRONG AND WHAT IS NEXT
6. LEGACY AND CALLING
This Week
Every man leaves a legacy. The question is not whether you will leave one but what it will be. The habits you have been building over these six weeks are not just about your own spiritual growth. They are about the kind of man you are becoming and the impact that man will have on everyone around him.
The goal was never just to finish a workbook. The goal was formation. To be the kind of man who prays with power, who hungers for God, who stands on Scripture, who shows up for his brothers, and who lives with every area of his life submitted to God.
So as you close out week six, the most important question is what comes next. The habits you have built need a container to live in. Find one. Keep your brothers close. Keep fasting. Keep praying. Keep reading. The best version of your life is built one faithful day at a time.
Prayer of the Week 6. LEGACY AND CALLING
Spend the first day of this week writing your prayer. Recite it morning and evening all week in a 10 minute window of silence and reflection.
“Lord, I thank You for these six weeks and for the brothers You have put beside me. I ask You to clarify what You have called me to and to give me the courage to actually walk in it. Help me to leave something worth leaving behind. Let my life point people to You. I commit to keeping going. Amen.”
Write your prayer
Personal Audit HOW AM I FINISHING?
Answer these honestly before your group meets. Aspirational answers do not help anyone.
Compare where you are now to your self assessment in week one. What has actually changed? Be specific.
Which of the three habits (prayer, fasting, scripture) did you struggle with most? What kept tripping you up?
How has your relationship with the men in this group deepened? What surprised you about doing this together?
What specific habits or practices do you want to carry forward after this group ends?
What kind of man do you want to be in 5 years? What needs to change between now and then?
Is there a man in your life you could bring into something like this? Who needs what you have received?
THE SHADOW OF APATHY
Watch the session video before completing this section.
Men today lack direction in life. They lack purpose and drive. They lack initiative in relationships. The enemy's most effective strategy to destroy men is to lull them to sleep with apathy. To ease them into a sense that there is nothing to do, nothing to become, nothing to fight. If Satan cannot destroy your faith, he will try to get you to settle for a shadow version of it. But your time matters, your vision matters, you matter. Your life is worth more than you know. When you cast off the shadow of apathy and lean into the fullness of all God has for you, you will use your strength for the good of others. All it takes for evil to be overcome is for good men, like you, to do something.
Shadow Audit Complete before group
God is not only a Father. He is also a General, mighty in battle and skilled in war. How does that image of God impact you? How does seeing yourself as a soldier change how you go about life?
What civilian affairs have you woven into your schedule, imagination, and resources? What are those things costing you in time, energy, and attention?
What would it look like for you if apathy were gone? How would it impact you and the people around you?
What practical steps can you take today to begin unweaving yourself from the things that are lulling you to sleep?
Spend time this week asking God for a vision of a life that actually matters. What would it look like if you lived the next 12 months with zero apathy?
Group Discussion 60 minutes together
Use the first half on the Forming Men questions. Use the second half on the Fighting Shadows questions.
Forming Men
- What was the biggest thing God did in you over these six weeks?
- Which habit had the most impact: prayer, fasting, or scripture? Why?
- What does this group need to do to stay connected and keep going after this ends?
Fighting Shadows
- Where has apathy settled in on your life the most? What has it cost you?
- What civilian affairs do you need to disentangle from? What is one thing you can cut or limit starting this week?
- What would a life of zero apathy look like for you? Share your vision with the group and let them hold you to it.
Weekly Report
Write a short reflection on how this week went. Send it to your brothers.
How did the fast go? What was hard? What did God speak to you?